I have a love hate relationship with screen time. Because they want it ALL THE TIME, managing my children's access to it is extremely aggravating. But since they love it so, we are all beholden to it; they need their fix, and I need my threat.
In matters of discipline, you have to find the thing that most efficiently brings your charges to their knees. For my family, screen time is the closest thing we've got to a magic bullet. Screen time is my sword and my shield, and I do not hesitate to smite my kin at will. The Lord may giveth, but I taketh away.
Its power is so awesome that after months of all sorts of attempts at positive behavior modification, the promise of television may ultimately be the thing responsible for toilet training Sacha. If it proves successful, I will have no choice but to turn it into a shrine and make daily offerings.
And so while I sometimes contemplate banishing screen time altogether because I don't want to hear someone ask me one more time if they can watch tv/play Wii/use their iPod, in reality, what I really need is duplicate electronic devices, so that once I've taken away the privilege, I have a spare handy so I can do it all over again.
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
19 November 2009
22 October 2009
Parenting in ALL CAPS
It is hard to comprehend, as you cradle your newborn in your arms, how much this child will annoy and anger you someday. This is the flip side of love; the ones we adore the most are also the ones most skilled at driving us crazy, sometimes in equal measure.
Spanking has been out for some time, but now, the tide is turning against yelling at our children. I take this with mixed emotions, as yelling is an inevitable, and necessary part of the job.
In my better moments, my study of mindfulness practices pay dividends. I was talking with a friend about meditation recently, and quipped that one of the greatest benefits I have derived from my yoga practice is to yell at my children with far greater precision. What I meant is that I've become better at catching myself on the verge of an explosion, and deciding how to engage. Recently, I've used a trick I learned from Elena Brower, of lowering my chin to my chest, which changes the pattern of your heartbeat, and I've found it really works. As a result, when I do yell, I am more likely to be in control my anger rather than allowing it to control me.
In my lesser moments though, I've resorted to stomping, gritting my teeth, growling, and wrist squeezing. Once, when Sarah was small, I took a page from my cat, and hissed at her. It was not my proudest moment, but it got her attention.
I learned a good trick for anger management from Sarah. She was about three, and we were beginning to teach her to identify her emotions, and express anger verbally rather than physically. In true sanctimonious parent fashion, "Use your words," was a constant refrain. One day when she was angry about something, she clenched her fists and scrunched her face, and shouted, "I WANT TO HIT!"
We were so proud.
So sometimes when I'm close to losing it, I'll say, "I am really angry right now, so angry that I want to spank you."
What do you do to manage your temper?
Spanking has been out for some time, but now, the tide is turning against yelling at our children. I take this with mixed emotions, as yelling is an inevitable, and necessary part of the job.
In my better moments, my study of mindfulness practices pay dividends. I was talking with a friend about meditation recently, and quipped that one of the greatest benefits I have derived from my yoga practice is to yell at my children with far greater precision. What I meant is that I've become better at catching myself on the verge of an explosion, and deciding how to engage. Recently, I've used a trick I learned from Elena Brower, of lowering my chin to my chest, which changes the pattern of your heartbeat, and I've found it really works. As a result, when I do yell, I am more likely to be in control my anger rather than allowing it to control me.
In my lesser moments though, I've resorted to stomping, gritting my teeth, growling, and wrist squeezing. Once, when Sarah was small, I took a page from my cat, and hissed at her. It was not my proudest moment, but it got her attention.
I learned a good trick for anger management from Sarah. She was about three, and we were beginning to teach her to identify her emotions, and express anger verbally rather than physically. In true sanctimonious parent fashion, "Use your words," was a constant refrain. One day when she was angry about something, she clenched her fists and scrunched her face, and shouted, "I WANT TO HIT!"
We were so proud.
So sometimes when I'm close to losing it, I'll say, "I am really angry right now, so angry that I want to spank you."
What do you do to manage your temper?
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