One of the ways in which my age shows is that I cannot help but text in full sentences. I am not above the occasional WTF, and regularly use w as shorthand for with, but am generally unable to write b4, or L8R, and I don't see the point of IWBAPTAKYAIYSTA*. While it gets points for looking vaguely Cyrillic, the sentiment could be far more succinctly conveyed by a simple, "Fuck you."
Last week we got on the subject of texting shorthand when Sarah, reading over my shoulder, couldn't help but offer her copy editing services by suggesting that I use LOL, instead of my preferred "ha ha ha." Aside from generally feeling foolish writing LOL, I don't like it because it could be misleading, if someone thinks I am sending lots of love, or inaccurate, as I'm more likely snickering, or laughing inside.
At age ten, Sarah desires nothing more than a cell phone. That we have no immediate plans to get her one has not deterred her from choosing her preferred model, and familiarizing herself with text message jargon. And so she began to give me a primer, quizzing me on the likes of MYOB, G2G, NJZ, and most alarming, GAB.
While Gabriel knows absolutely nothing about texting, he could not resist playing along. I try to steer clear of tales of How Cute My Child Is, in favor of How Delightfully Hysterical/Eccentric/Perverse is My Child, but this was so indicative of Gabriel's sweet nature, that I could not resist. Here is his first crack at texting:
ILMAD: I love mom and dad
YAS: You are special
ILYF: I love your food
YKM: You kiss me
and, finally, because he is a boy, PLB: people love balls.
This is why, when I look at him, it takes all the restraint I can muster not inhale his cheeks like two plump egg yolks.
*I will buy a plane ticket and kick your ass if you say that again. WTF?!