07 August 2009

Bathtime: A play in one act

The bathroom of a suburban home. Three year-old son has stayed up too late, and is overtired. He's also covered in sunscreen, chlorine, aioli, and bits of spaghetti. Mother places child in the tub.

Mother: I'm going to wet your hair now. Close your eyes so you don't get water in them.

Mother proceeds to pour water over child's head.

Son: What are you doing? Don't DO that!

Mother: Now I'm going to wash your hair.

Son: Okay.

Mother shampoos son's hair.

Son: Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!

Mother: Now I'm going to rinse your hair. Close your eyes, and tilt your head back so you don't get soap in your eyes.

Son: Okay.

Mother proceeds to rinse son's hair.

Son (eyes closed): I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE!

Son opens eyes.

Son: OW, OW, OW!

Mother: Now I'm going to wash your face.

Mother washes child's face.


Bath is completed in under 2 minutes. Son is dried off.

Mother: I have to put some lotion on you.

Mother gently massages child's skin.


Mother quickly diapers son and puts on his pajamas. She contemplates brushing his teeth, thinks better of it, gives son a kiss and throws him into bed.

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